PBF.05: Fare Thee Well My Sweet Buttercup

Originally I posted my cartoon without an explanation, thinking it pretty clearly illustrates a tongue and accompanying taste buds being left behind on the dock.

I drew it while getting juiced up at the Glow Factory.  My fellow glow worms and technicians all found it worthy of a chuckle. 

Once posted here however, it caused a lot of head scratching, emails about the etiquette of disease, and even lead a few people to drop their subscriptions to the BFS Blog. 

So to clarify and prevent any more cartooned based rumpus, I have prepared the following caption:

"With the ability to taste only kerosene and styrofoam, I have decided to leave my taste buds on dry dock.

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PBF .04: One Word Says It All

Originally I was going to create a photo montage of all the fantastic dishes, dinners, and desserts that have been devoured in the name of Project Bear Fat. The montage would have been a very LARGE montage. PBF has developed into a kind of moving banquet, a non-stop Thanksgiving feast. Friends and family coming together to enjoy good food and conversations, raising glasses, diving in for second and third helpings. A fridge filled with heat and eat TLC.

Now for the stats: Two weeks of PBF has resulted in 5 additional pounds of bear fat. Granted I feel like I have put on a good 10LBs. But, 5 pounds, when you think about it is pretty damn good. Pants are tight, moving in the right direction without causing my heart to explode. 

With all the ads for diet pills and low calorie snacks, it may sound un-American to say that it would be a real health issue if putting weight on was fast and easy.

A BIG THANK YOU to all the PBF supporters. You are Shadalicious. That is, you have all helped to take something not so pleasant, such as small stinky fish and turn it into something special.

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Project Bear Fat .03: A Cascade Of Sweat

The Project Bear Fat not only encompasses the consumption of lots of tasty food, it also incorporates various methods of reawakening long dormant muscles, therefore I am now a legitimate member of the Tom Landry Fitness Center.

This week I attended my very first Yoga class. The room was darkly subdued, there were soft mats scattered across the floor, and there was the sound of flutes coming from the CD player. The instructor suggested I remove my shoes and socks, and then quietly escorted me to a mat. I innocently confessed that I have seen pictures of people doing yoga, but had never personally done this sort of thing before.

With a smile she turned to the class and suggested that we take our places and curl up into a ball. I thought to myself, Well now, this is the kind of exercises a bear could do all day.

From there we went into the Downward Dog position, which turned out to be the gate way into a host of agonizing poses that caused fountains of sweat to cascade from every pour of my skin. As I tried not to laugh out loud at the burning pain generated from my overtaxed underutilized muscles, I thought, This is definitely NOT the natural habitat for a bear.

Next week I think I'll switch to jazzercize or perhaps one of the over 65 classes.

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Project Bear Fat .02

Project Bear Fat is off to a great start, 3 pounds in just the first week. One of the highlights was a lasagna handmade by my friend Heather. The before baking photo shows the snowcap of savory cheese and one of the red bell pepper hearts that covered the surface.

I was going to take a photo of it after baking, all golden brown, but the aroma was so compelling that I simple forgot about anything other than serving it up. Later, after a third serving, I really couldn't do anything other than stair into space like a contented cat.


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Project Bear Fat .01

Project Bear Fat was created upon the advice from a person of clout and persuasion. Project Bear Fat is all about eating, a thing that I enjoy doing several times a day, but, Project Bear Fat takes the consumption of food to the level of actually putting on and maintaining some serious weight.

Of course my first impulse was to gobble down a few boxes of cookies, eat ice cream after every meal, and switch over to eating peanut butter, jelly and banana sandwiches for breakfast. But sugar based fattening is not what I am necessarily after here.

Project Bear Fat is a bulking project that needs to come mostly from savory dishes high in protein. This means I will be eating a lot more meat than my flexitarian diet usually includes, and just to make Project Bear Fat harder, I am working out at the gym three days a week in order to re-awakening some of those mussels that have been asleep for several years.

Fortunately I am surrounded by family and friends who are exceptional cooks, and who all have special dishes guarantied to turn event the most scrawniest toothpick into a substantial red wood. To each of you, I savor every bite and the love there in.